Yesterday, I drove passed a young guy with droopy pants. Well, way more than droopy. You know, hanging passed the butt so far that the guy is walking gapped-legged so his pants won’t fall completely. Anyway, I saw him. Walking ahead. As I drove passed I pushed the down button on the window, leaned over to give him a piece of my mind and…nothing. I couldn’t do it. Nasty butt.
A few months ago I had a fender-bender. I really think this lady did a stop-and-squat on me. Meaning, she purposely stopped so I could run into her.
There were a few scuff marks on my car and mere paint chippings on hers so no-harm-no-foul, right? To the contrary, I was amazed when I asked her how she was doing she weakly sated,” My neck.” People, I wanted to hit her in her neck, but good judgement prevailed. Oh, and when the police came and we both got out of our cars, she suddenly developed a limp! Really?!? I tapped your car lady! Ol’ stupid head! But at this point I just thought the whole thing was just a bad (and played out) joke more than anything.
When the officer asked for my proof of insurance, I gladly handed him my card. You see, I know I pay my insurance. Humph! Don’t mess with me! Say what, officer? Expired? No, it’s not – oh, it is. Well, let me check my purse. It’s got to be in my purse somewhere. No, it’s not in there, officer. What’s that, officer? (Notice my tone is a little humbler now.) You say I must have my new insurance card with me at all times? And if I don’t I am fined and a court date is automatically scheduled for me?
And just as he handed me my ticket, all three pieces of my flip phone (Shut up! Yeah, flip!) slipped from my hand and spread across the street. I looked at the ground and laughed. Needless to say by the time I made it to work I was biting nails; and it didn’t help that by now everything on my to-do list was now deemed an emergency by the work gods. You can imagine at this point I wanted to stand on my desk and scream, “Attica! Attica! Attica!”
Instead, I called my mom…good ol’ momma. She would know what to do. She listened and consoled me; I sniffed and hung up the phone. After what seemed like a long while, 4:30pm finally came. I drove home without incident, went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. My mouth was downcast and the gleam in my eyes was gone. I turned to leave my reflection when I remembered I had two chocolate bars in the fridge. I yanked them out, slipped into my pajamas, and dove into bed.
I cut on the TV and lo and behold the Disney movie, Frozen, was playing. Just what I needed…let it go, girl, yes, yes, let it go.
So I closed my eyes and I did.
Where does time go? I remember when my niece and nephew were mere babes. Now they’re acne-faced teenagers. They used to keep me in stitches all the time when they were small. Like the time I was playing the kiddie version of the dozens with them – yeah, I did that – and was beat by a 4-year-old. I called him peanut butter toes and he called me booger face. Hi-lar-ious! Maybe another type of aunt would not have played this game. But hey, that aunt ain’t me. I live to laugh at this crazy stuff!
And like another time my brother told me about recently. He said one day, while he was in his son’s room, his son (toddler age then and not talking so well yet) walked up to him eating a corn dog. My brother looked puzzled because he knew they didn’t have corn dogs that day. Corn dogs were definitely on the menu the day before. He asked his son where he got the corn dog. My nephew obediently pointed to the toy box in the corner! His own little refrigerator! He had obviously stuck it there for safe keeping. People…you can’t make this stuff up!
Or like the time my friend’s baby sister (2 years old then) decided to play make-up with her sleeping father. She put toilet paper between every crevice of his that she could – between his toes, fingers, behind his ears, and in his nostrils. He finally woke up when she was about to stuff the last nostril!
When I realized that I hadn’t written an entertainment piece in a while, I began to think about what was good on TV. I don’t know about anybody else, but I’ve grown weary of the programming that many are flocking to. As a matter of fact, I’ve found myself in a veritable mixed bag of nuts as far as my TV choices go.
Hell on Wheels – AMC
I love Cullen Bohannon (Anson Mount). You know one of the things I like the most about him? Honey, when he says, ‘c’mon!’ Let’s just say I like the sexy, one-syllabled, country-styled way that he utters it.
How I hate that this season is the last, but so far, that doesn’t mean the story line is suffering. I’m on my toes guessing still. Where are his wife and child? He’s already lost his first family. Please let this man have his dream of peace, a family, a dog, and beautiful house by the beach. I want this so badly for him.
But I’m wondering about the new female character, Mei. Due to the outbreak of war and avoidance of an unwanted marriage, she’s forced to run from her home in Asia to America, cross-dress like she’s a boy and work like a man. Where does she fit in all of this? You know Cullen and her will become closer before it’s all over with.
Devious Maids – Lifetime
I couldn’t see how they were going to continue this show after season one ended, but every week I am frantic if I haven’t set my DVR for eight o’clock on Monday nights. It gets twistier and twistier. Yep, I actually wrote that.
Carmen (Roselyn Sanchez) is sleeping with the husband of the record producer she’s trying to impress; Zoila (Judy Reyes) is pregnant by her dead husband so her fiancé walks out on her at the alter; Marisol’s (Ana Ortiz) mysterious, gun-toting boyfriend has possibly broken up with her and never mind that he was once her maid; Rosie (Dania Ramirez) had just left her hot husband for her even hotter husband (watch the show to get the meaning of that)! Whew! Funny, ridiculous, and just plain fun!
Poldark – PBS Masterpiece Theatre
PBS slays me!
I so love PBS for a zillion reasons but I’ll just share one of them at present…Poldark. This is the new series on Masterpiece Theatre. The character Ross Poldark (played by Aidan Turner) is brooding, dark, and sexy. He’s really of the blue-blood stock but rebels on every level against it.
He’s prideful and stubborn but with high morals and a big heart. Sigh and swoon! He even rolls up his sleeves and works in the copper mine he owns; he marries his pretty kitchen maid, and doesn’t seem ashamed of it at all. So when his friend accidently kills his wife, of course he helps him escape. And when a ship wrecks on the shores of his estate, of course he rounds all of his workers and villagers – who are poor – and encourages them to pick up the food and goods washed up shore. Of course this means drama! And of course, this means I’ll tune in next season to see where this picks up!
In several studies it has been shown that the consequences of long stretches of inactivity or sitting down range from increase anxiety, low level of HDL (good) cholesterol, higher levels of C-reactive protein (which can indicate inflammation), and triglycerides (blood fats – not a good thing), and even certain cancers and serious heart conditions.
What can we do?
The good news is that additional studies have been conducted which found that the simple solution is to take more breaks and stick to regular exercise. For some of us that means to start small, such as taking your breaks away from your desk and doing something or when talking on the phone simply standing up for the duration of the conversation.
Build up your exercise regimen by walking briskly every day. Doctors recommend 30 minutes a day for adults. This might seem like a lot for us busy adults who have kids, spouses, a job and the like. But not if you use the time you have – if you have an hour lunch, use the last 30 minutes to walk around your parking garage at work or even an empty conference room. Be creative and think simply…it could save your life!
Good health to you!
I just had to post this. Darrin Dewitt Henson (best known for the Soul Food TV series) was in my town recently. He is as nice, personable, and lovely as he seems to be on screen.
Some kids came out and danced for him. He not only came out to watch them, but he bust a move with them as well! Oh, and it doesn’t hurt that he has a killer smile and great body to go along with that beautiful personality as well! Heeey!
Big handbags are the style now and no one loves a great big handbag more than I do. On top of that, for anyone working in an office of any type, you know you can carry up to no less than three bags at any time – your handbag, lunch bag, and work bag or tote.
Ask any chiropractor and they will tell you that three bags is a lot, especially if they are loaded to the rim. In fact, in recent years there is a steady rise in cases where shoulder and neck pain are the direct result of the heavy bags we carry. And men, don’t think this article is not about you. If you carry work, computer equipment (tablets and/or laptops), and gym clothes in a duffel bag that has no shoulder straps (just the hand straps), you could be putting more stress on your back as well.
One simple solution is to stop carrying the large bags all together. Yeah right!! That might work for some, but for us die-hard big bag ladies out there – pun intended – we all know that’s not going to happen! But what can we do to prevent or lessen pain and stress on our shoulders, back, and neck?
- Clean out your purse/bag every week.
- Really think about where you are going and what you will actually need. Take only that.
- For those of us who are experiencing pain, take an anti-inflammatory and schedule a massage as needed.
- And lastly, when you have lightened your load, keep the bulk of the purse close to the center of the body. In other words, it is better to have a purse or bag on a short strap.
Good health to you!